My Stories
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Ooo its been a long time since i made an official post uh. haha.
Well things are getting pretty upsetting and i need a place to let everything out. So, here i am!
So, 2 days ago, i kinda confessed.. Well i never thought i'd do that again...how long has it been eh?
Ever since then, I've had a phobia of sorts? Not daring to step forward. Not wanting to do anything.
I always thought, so as long as i can see her smile. Thats all. Thats enough for me. Well, it still is though.
I know it in me, that even if I had only seen her once in a week. It's enough to keep me going till the next time I'd see her again.
Sometimes, she'd tease me about my previous crush which I told her about. It bothered me, and I told her to stop it.
However, as time went on, I'd miss the teasing one way or another. But I know it'd be stupid to tell her that.
Soon after knowing she liked a certain sweet, I went around asking and acting as if i knew, though i know naught about it.
A few days of questioning and researching around later, I found a location which sold them and went there to get it.
Happily after acquiring it, I passed it to her the next day when we met. Great Feelings.
Going on, I happened to find out more locations. And I'd "go pass them" and checked them out. However, a few weeks later, it closed down.
Following on, I never got to see that smile I saw that day. But I'd keep going on and finding out, going back to the very first stall though I will be late everyday and it will be already closed.
Then came the day when I found out what I shouldn't.
Yup, you guessed it. She was attached.
And it seems I was the last to find out about it. Heh..so much for being there for each other...
I went crazy that night, with all sorts of feelings pouring into me...
Unspeakable thoughts.
Then two days back, I saw her hanging out with her sweetheart. I tried to ignore everything. But eventually a "hello" blurted out of me. I hurried across to find a place to hide my sadness,anger, jealousy and the enviousness.
Eventually, that night, I reached my limits and told her how i felt. Everything went on fine. She had great replies.
I told her I'd never give up this time, but what can I do?
I knew everything will change from then on. I didn even had a ounce of sadness when I was telling her. It felt like a release. I thought I'd be fine.
However, everything, all the memories, the feelings poured into me eventually. I held back the tears because I don't want to lose to the feelings. I wanted to be strong and stand up to everything.
But,right now, I'm missing my "goal in life".
Heh. How pathetic of me.
12:59 AM
im alone; im emo;